Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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