DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
