"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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