How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
how do flat chested girls get laid?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
