tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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