the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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