I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
