What a fucking waste of an outfit
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
