Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
