What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So vagazzling was a success
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
