I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
