He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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