With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
