cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
