Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
