I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Are my feet made of real feet?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize