im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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