PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
