is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The feeling are messing with the penis
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize