i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize