You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize