You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
