she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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