I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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