Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
