her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
