Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
