I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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