No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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