porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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