Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize