I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize