:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
