Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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