Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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