Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
