so explain again why im purple
no
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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