DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
