Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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