im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
