the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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