Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize