I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We talked him into tasing himself.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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