..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
