how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
