If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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