i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
