Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
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