Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
