at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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