guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
