oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
