Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
