just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
