Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
