Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
wow bdsm is so cute
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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