Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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