In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
